Growing Up

So this post started out as a random jumble of thoughts. Then I narrowed it down to two thoughts. Then I got carried away with this one and decided to write TWO posts today! Try to keep up! :)

The realization that I’m an adult is really dawning on me. I know, I know, I’ve technically been and adult for almost 9 years. But it’s not our age that makes us adults. It’s the life we experience. I laugh when I think about myself at 17 (and 18 and 19…....ok, fine. And 20). I was SUCH a know-it-all. Couldn’t tell me nothin’. But life hadn’t happened yet. I hadn’t been faced with anything difficult. I’d been pretty sheltered and protected, and probably lucky. The things that make me a grown up now, I couldn’t even FATHOM back then.

Now I have babies. And not only do the majority of my friends have babies, they’ve lost babies too. Nothing will make you feel more grown up than that particular heartache.

Now I’m a mom, I make babies and I HAVE THE ANSWERS! When my little boy asks me “How come?” I have the power to teach him! When my husband calls and asks what to do about a baby’s little cough, I HAVE THE ANSWER!!

Now I appreciate my crazy family for what they are. My rock, my strength, my heart. I failed to realize at 17 that they had all my best interests at heart. Not just a pain in my rear!

Now I’ve lost a parent. ‘Nuff said.

Now I have friends that I’ve been through the fire with. Friends that have been through the worst parts of my life with me so far and have seen me at my worst, and love me that much stronger. Friends that even thousands of miles can’t keep away. Friends I love like sisters. Friends that I had no idea I’d been missing all those years.

Now I have possible career that I love, that means something and that I have a responsibility to. I’ve never had that before.

Now I have a mortgage (I swear, that should be a four letter word!). I have a responsibility to a house and six acres. This little piece of the pie we “own” now is SO important to my kids and how they will be influenced to grow up.

Now I have a marriage that I am committed to. A love that somehow seems to always overcome serious trials. One that is going to stand the test of time.

Now I don’t know so much. I ask questions, and I listen and try to learn from mistakes. Everyone’s mistakes, not just my own.

I realize that I still have a lot of growing up to do. I have many many years of wisdom to acquire. But I’m hoping that this little revelation to myself will lead me in the right directions. I know that as an adult I have a lot to offer my family, my friends and the world. The power to positively influence the people around me. And I’m happy with that!

As my friend Jill recently wrote in her blog, “I tried to think of a wish myself…I couldn’t… when it comes to the realistic things that really make me happy, I have it all. - so life must be pretty good.” And I think I feel the same!